Today is a Strange Day (Fly On)

Today is a strange day, with

palm trees on the breeze and snow on the horizon,

and gray sky pressed dry like the sidewalk that beckons ‘Fly on.’

Fly on. Fly on with the north winds, left cold and old and chilly. Fly to the south,

and to the edges of the compass; fly unblown by winds,

until the sunlight slows in the heat of this day and my chest swells

not from church bells, but with the Northwinds that smell of palm trees

sometimes, in this old heat.

And if this flat dry sky that catches my eye with the blankness of it:

at its summit, transfixed, becomes something else entirely.

Oh, fly on, fly on, into the smudging sky! Paint it mine, in tones of gold and

purple and blue, and I see, so shall you, through the clouds,

through the phosphor’ent Northwinds, through to the blazing Sun…

From there, breathe new warmth into the Northwinds, so sold and cold

and silly, filled with fresh light and the scent of palm trees,

Ring out one further drop from the dry sidewalk,

and fly, fly on like you were borne too, poet,

like you were dared to, for that is what this is;

Together we shall make it new.

I Am So Goth: A Conversation

 AIM is for winners.

 

Kahrytes: I AM SO GOTH, THAT IF YOU CUT ME, ANNE RICE NOVELS FALL OUT

perfectstarTR: HAH!

Kahrytes: I’m so Goth, I shit bats.

perfectstarTR: I’m so Goth my hair grows in dyed black and red.

perfectstarTR: I am so Goth I can cut myself by thinking about pain.

Kahrytes: I’m so Goth, that if a bully hit me, Livejournal INSTANTLY explodes to life.

perfectstarTR: I’m so Goth I’m colorblind to yellow and pink.

Kahrytes: I’m so Goth, that every day, I manifest new piercings and curly drawings underneath my eyes.

perfectstarTR: I am so Goth that I my skin has naturally formed patterns to that when I curl into fetal position my tattoos resemble an enormous pair of eyes to scare predators away from my lunch money.

Kahrytes: I’m so goth, that when I decide to go out clubbing, a nightclub spontaneously has most of its lights go out, and the bartender becomes a woman who looks like Neil Gaiman’s Death in a halter top, and everyone dances by staring at the floor and shuffling from side to side.

perfectstarTR: I am so Goth that I can’t lift my feet more than six inches off the ground.

Kahrytes: I’m so goth, I don’t wear shoes. Stiletto heels grow out the back of my heel.

perfectstarTR: I am so Goth, that I find this only mildly adorable.

perfectstarTR: I am so Goth, the skin on my arm has grown so flimsy that I can cut it with spoon, like good french meat.

Kahrytes: I am so goth, that my wrists spontaneously generate slits across them, which some people say is the wrong way, but I say is the only way that makes my pain not hurt.

perfectstarTR: I am so goth that I don’t understand my own pain.

Kahrytes: I am so goth that I have carved Lestat into every inch of my exposed flesh AND the inner surface of the major veins in my arms and legs.

perfectstarTR: I am so Goth that I emit a high pitched sound that when recorded on special equipment and digitally lowered, is identical to Slip Knot’s new album.

Kahrytes: Slipknot? I am so goth that I don’t like slipknot because they’re corporate. I like Cradle of Filth, because they’re from Europe. And everything good came from Europe, like castles. And fog.

Kahrytes: And crying.

perfectstarTR: I am so Goth that shut up, I’m gothier because I turned my brother into a black cat, but it keeps on staring at me when I’m naked during my monthly moon dance.

Kahrytes: I’m so goth that everyone stares at me when I’m naked during my monthly moon dance. They say it’s because I’m so fat, but I know it’s because they wish they had the power of the moon goddess.

Kahrytes: I might be telling you I want to die in a few minutes.

perfectstarTR: I’m so Goth that I have a therapist who’s also a goth.

perfectstarTR: Why?

Kahrytes: But that is because I’m watching a movie called Grizzly Man, and the guy it’s about is kinda stupid sounding.

perfectstarTR: Oh, YEAH, grizzly man.

perfectstarTR: He lived with the bears, right?

Kahrytes: Yeah.

perfectstarTR: Don’t worry, I think one got him after the movie ended.

Kahrytes: One did.

Kahrytes: I can read minds.

Kahrytes: The bears are thinking “Shut the fuck up and let me eat you.”

perfectstarTR: “Your arm resembles delicious.”

Kahrytes: “You smell like an inferior. And inferiors = food.”

perfectstarTR: “I enjoy the sensation of you in my mouth. And throat. And stomach. And in small smelly piles.”

Kahrytes: A bear just knocked his ass down.

Kahrytes: “Go back. Go back!”

Kahrytes: A bear is coming towards him. “Excuse me! It’s okay… You’re the boss. Nice job. Wow, nice job.”

perfectstarTR: “You look like my friend Tony! I ate him, too.”

Kahrytes: “He was tasty. And he sure wasn’t the boss.”

perfectstarTR: I am so Goth, every Friday is “Everyone I love is dead!” Day. It’s where I pretend that everyone I love is dead. Then I write poetry about it and post it on Poetrydotcom for sympathy.

Kahrytes: I am so goth, that everyone on Livejournal who is a friend of mine thinks I’m dead, after I took some pictures of the last time I cut myself.

perfectstarTR: I am so Goth that I refuse to have sex because I don’t want the pleasure. At least, I would if anyone were willing to put their penis/tongue/faith in me.

Kahrytes: Wow.

Horton Hears A Who, the Most Uncool Review Just For You

Lame rhyming aside, Dr. Seuss has been seriously mistreated the past couple of years: ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ and ‘The Cat In the Hat’ have probably polished the inside of his coffin to glassy perfection with friction. It hurts especially because I so desperately want to like these movies. Deep in my cold, aching heart, a little piece of me still wants to return to the first time I heard they were making ‘The Grinch.’ ‘Jim Carey? Of Pet Detective and Mask fame? Starring as Grinch? My tiny, younger heart wants to explode in exitedness! I hope he and Director Ron Howard don’t clumsily reassemble all of my childhood memories into some kind of horrendous lurching monster of incompetant film making!’

Oh, if only I knew, I wouldn’t have had my heart broken… Then reassembled a third time, stitched together with used dental-floss and nudged out the door towards the terrorized townsfolk, yet again, for The Cat in the Hat.

Still, there’s hope. Because Horton Hears a Who wasn’t half bad. Oh sure, Jim Carey occasionally pushed the limits of goofy, especially because the CGI elephant didn’t have his plasticine features punctuating those obscene voices we know and love. And yes, there were a few more plot threads than there needed to be and even a moral tacked on at the end, but it was the best derivative of Seuss’s work since 1966, when the original ‘Grinch’ came out.

I think part of it is because this is the first animated version since the classic. The medium’s changed, but the tender care put into every gorgeous model of elephant, tree and Who rivals the artistry that went into the hand-drawn frames of the classic. The water glints and glistens like real water. Horton’s elephant skin looks cartoonish from the distance, but up close it has tangibility, detail and realism. And the Who’s town is incredible. The sheer density of complexity and Seussian machinery has a richeness all its own. Finally, it seems that Dreamworks is animating on par with Pixar.

The acting’s top-notch, too, featuring the whole spectrum of emerging comedic actors alongside the greats. Seth Rogan proves that he has some decent chops for written scripts. Will Arnett lends his voice for his first excellent movie since moving off cable, and Amy Poehler voiced Steve Carrel’s who wife so well I didn’t even pick up it was her, so divorced from the silliness of SNL and UCB. Like I said, Jim Carey occasionally took the voicing a little too far, but I’m so happy to see him back in comedy (good comedy, that is. I saw Fun With Dick and Jane) that I don’t even care. Over all, he was a great Horton.

It was pretty funny, too: a healthy mix of slapstick, visual gags and bizarreness that made me laugh unabashedly in a nearly empty theater (a shame). I don’t want to spoil the jokes, so I won’t go into detail, but Katie is hilarious and wonderfully disturbing. And don’t forget the references for the adults: Apocalypse Now, Ahhnohld and a inspired anime sequence.

 So see it with your kids, your girlfriend or your folks. If you ever liked Dr. Seuss, see the movie. If you were ever a child, or if you know one, you’ll probably like it. Go with the riff, go with the raff, I give this movie a four-and-a-half. Out of five… something about jive. I dunno, I wasn’t cut out for this Seuss rhyming thing.